Bolivia, volunteering and waiting by the phone

I'm checking my email like a twat. No other way to put it really. I am waiting for replies from a number of organisations that will have a direct impact on the direction I am about to take. Decided I'm going to Bolivia in a little over a months time. Pretty pumped to get getting out there and travelling once again. Traveling is something that just makes me eternally happy- I don't know any other way to describe it. Is it so strange that I sometimes feel more at home in a foreign country than in my native land and that I enjoy the company of strangers more than those I have grown up with?

At the start of this year I toiled with the idea of going to Bolivia, but it got crossed off my list after fierce objections from many people around me. I am not someone who requires the approval of my family and friends or sets goals based on what others think, but, I had one of those moments.

You know the story of Christopher Johnson Mccandless? Alexander Supertramp? Into The Wild (the book and or film)? Christopher's story has had a mighty impact on me. I relate to his need to leave and walk into the wild. There is one quote that had a huge impact on me: happiness is only real when shared. That line hit me hard when I was about ten months into my big overseas adventure. I was traveling alone (having at great time), but it just hit me, what good are experiences and stories when there is no one to share them with?

Aside from that quote, what came to me after reading the book for about the third time is something that has resonated in me. So much so that I abandoned my thoughts about Bolivia. When does my traveling become selfish? Last year at university, I was pleasantly surprised by an elective unit that I took which was based on environmental ethics. It was here that I was introduced to Peter Singer and the concept of Total Happiness. While this is a relatively new concept for me, I have embraced it wholeheartedly. And coming back to Christopher Mccandless, I had just received the soundtrack in the post and was listening to it when I mentioned to my mother what was playing. Her comment is what struck me; "It was just a waste of life, he was nothing more than a selfish person." Okay, it is the type of thing that you either love or hate, totally understand it or can't fathom doing something even remotely similar to it.

When does my traveling become selfish?

To increase the happiness of my family or that of my own? To do what I want to do and perhaps be selfish or following one's dream?

After all I have just written, how come I am going to Bolivia?

I am sick of applying for jobs. I am bored being at home without any real direction or plans in the pipeline. Sure, I would have loved to have gotten a job in the first six months out of university, but it has not worked out that way (and not for a lack of trying). I have scoured the internet for volunteer programs and internships that interest me, do not cost the earth and will benefit both me and the local community/organisation. I found one the Cape Town, South Africa that seemed great, it is just so expensive. I got a bit excited about the South African one, even told a few people about it, but that faded away bit by bit- mostly because I progressed through a government graduate program recruitment process and then got the interview for the job I have so openly whinged about here. Unfortunately it has come down to cost, and the other small thought in the back of my head that I had Africa on my list for when I am old, like 40s. Like traveling around Australia, it's something that I like the idea of doing when I am substantially older. So for the money I have, I can do 3 months in Bolivia and South America, or eight weeks in South Africa with that program.

The NGO I am looking at in Bolivia, Sustainable Bolivia, I am waiting to hear back from them. I sent a general email inquiry last weekend and yesterday I sent an application to them. Still not heard anything which is a little unnerving, I will give it time. There is also another organisation in Bolivia that I would love to go, it's an animal refuge. I would love that. It is cheap too, and will be my fall back I guess if I do not hear from Sustainable Bolivia (or get rejected). The wildlife refuge would be a great experience, however it does not carry the same weight as Sustainable Bolivia.

The other thing that I am very excited about is Aconcagua. I will be having my best crack at that while I am in the area. Already spoken to a couple expedition companies about it. I have ramped up my training and endurance as Aconcagua will be tough. It is 6962masl, the highest outside of Asia. WOW. annnnd I have been looking at flights to and from South America. I have received prices and being held some seats which is getting me even more pumped but ever so slightly anxious as I do not actually know if I have a place with Sustainable Bolivia. Should I try ringing them after a few days? There was an automatic application response which said I would be contacted within one week, but I do not know if I can hold the seats for that long (as they are waaay cheaper than most others as my flight home will be the week or so before Christmas.


WOW hugeness! one last email check... nope. Oh and btw, I not heard about the job I had an interview for. Called and left my details, no call back. fuckers.

number five

Yep no point in dwelling now.... not got a call. I suppose I could keep telling myself that they might ring but realistically, I know that my referees have not been called, so they are hardly going to offer me the position. pppft.


I am currently reading In The Footsteps of Tenzing Norgay, Touching my Father's Soul by Jamling Tenzing Norgay. Great book so far. The insights into Jamling's journey are evoking and entertaining- hard to put down. Cannot wait until I return to Nepal and once again make the trek into the Khumbu. Already got the thoughts of what gear to bring and what to wear. I know, getting just a lot ahead of myself, but if you can't dream, then what else is there?

I've been thinking a lot about what to do since I've not had any luck getting a job job. I see that there is not too much point in continually applying for jobs without getting any responses without adding to your skills set and ultimately your resume or CV. There are a number of internship programs I have been looking into, but they just cost so much. I understand that there are costs involved. I get that.

There are too many people in this world getting rich off people just wanting to make a difference.

It has become fashionable, particularly in the UK to take a gap year and volunteer overseas. On paper, this is a great idea. Helping people while learning about yourself. Life experiences. In reality however, a lot of 'projects' are doing little good. And they are being charged an arm and a leg. I know from first hand experiences that only a very small proportion of money goes to the local community or to where it is needed most. Breaks my heart that it is becoming increasingly hard to find volunteer projects where the bulk of the money is not going straight into a couple pockets. Yes, there are administration costs, in-country support, marketing and advertisement costs, staff wages but the four thousand pounds some agencies are charging for a two week project is just extravagant. The local community that you are paying to help generally does not get a very large proportion of this, some even state that the donation is (as small as) $US200. 200 is a lot when the average annual wage is less than that, but still, out of thousands of dollars, two hundred is such a small percentage. This just raises the age old question that is something better than nothing?.


over and out... for now.


PS I really could go a sunny forest walk today.

Hope is quickly deteriorating. With each passing day the likelihood that I have landed that job decreases. It's a bit depressing, but I am keeping positive; perhaps they are taking their sweet time to decide or; that there was some sort of emergency that is delaying their assessment process. While that may in fact be true, I highly doubt that. Still, this interview has given me more confidence, after all, they must have liked my resume and application. Instead of now waiting for a phone call, I am expecting a letter in the mail. Dear..... The quality of applicants has been extremely high and I regret to advise that on this occasion blah blah.

But enough of this sad dribble.

Number three

As I sit here at the beginning of the next chapter in my life, I cannot help but to wonder how I got here and that if those small simply little things that happened along the way actually had a significant impact on where I have come to. I think they do, but only to a point. It is what you take away from the experiences that make the difference. I am quietly confident that if I did not go to university, I would be in a similar situation as to where I am now. I was adamant at the end of high school that if I didn’t get into university, that it would be fine; I would get to where I need to be in due course.

Having said that, all of life’s encounters have a big impact on you. It is commonly said that it is not the destination but the journey and I believe that no matter what path I take, I will get the most out of my journey.

This leads me to my next thought (and, of course the continual thoughts of Everest).

WAITING. It is the hardest thing to do- funny thing is, it doesn’t even involve doing anything. You just sit there and wait. I am currently awaiting a phone call about a job. It’s a job that is not my dream job, but far from settling. It would be a fantastic opportunity to have. I really hope I get offered the position. I was told early this week I would know, so that means Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. Was not today (Monday) so just two more days of having my phone next to me from 9 to 5. I felt that the interview went really well; I hit it off with the three on the panel and had an answer for everything, but if I left myself believe that this is the one, then the disappointment is so much greater. Still, I am secretly hoping....

My dream job however, one that I spent a very long time completing the Key Selection Criteria for, was given to a ‘redeployee’. How f**ed is that?? I understand that priority is given to employees who are classified as ‘surplus’ but man oh man what a waste of time. I spent a lot of time getting all my answers polished and concise in the hope of getting a call- this was a job I really really wanted, something that I was qualified and would have been great at. But alas, cannot cry over spilt milk or opportunities that are missed.

In the interim, I have recently become qualified as a swim teacher. I really like it and it is something that I can come back to in the future. Also something that I can do until I get a job job.

I preserved limes on the weekend, a very nana thing to do, but I just love homemade foods and condiments [Photos coming]. I put some lovely hot red chilies in a couple of the jars, I think chili and lime goes great together. Can’t wait to start using them

This photo is one of my most favorite memories

As I was standing there in awe of everything... life, oh the beauty of life, I thought man this would be the perfect place to call it a day. Perhaps that was altitude talking I don't know. All I know is that this was the most amazing this I have ever seen. This shot was taken while crossing the Thorong La, a pass that is a highlight of the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal. I was lucky (?) enough to have had good snow fall the days prior (and during) to get a lovely fresh powder snow. I question the luckiness of it as the local lodge owners prefer there to be no snow as it is far easier and safer to cross the pass. Also, even after leaving that morning, we were not 100% we would be able to continue. That day was hard going, but reaching the top of the pass and seeing a tea shop, spectacular.

I think it's feelings like those that I experienced during the pass that are driving me to summit The feeling of being completely and utterly blown away by something is addictive. Perhaps like a drug...

I have progressed to reading every book written about Mt Everest. There are hundreds out there, perhaps even more than that. I just fear that by becoming obsessed with standing atop the roof of the world, I may loose track of the present. I somehow don't think that I will, but those around me, seeing me with books on the triumphs and tragedies that have occurred on the mountain, how will I maintain this level of passion when I wont be able to have my chance for many years?

An obsessive person by nature, can I maintain this excitement while still functioning normally within society? I'd like to think so. Realistically, I know that my thoughts will not be consumed solely by Everest in years or even months, but I do strongly feel that it will still be there. Keeping it on a slow burner until the time is right. Yep it's a plan.

I have to go to work now to earn moola for my adventure =]


note to self- re-read all posts before posting!!

Where to begin???

My entrance into this wonderful world of blogging has been delayed more so that I would have thought. I had always liked the idea of keeping a journal of some sort, but as with most things, thinking about it and doing it are very different things. But I have decided to begin and just see where I go and what happens. I will type whatever comes to mind with no particular direction, just the raw thoughts floating around in my head.

Mt Everest

I have decided with sound resolution and clarity that I will summit Mount Sagarmatha. I will attempt to stand on top Mount Everest, the top of the world and stare at its beauty.

I cannot wait. It is something that I now need to do. And I know that I will get there.

I do not underestimate what challenges lie ahead, instead I think about them with excitement. I believe there are a couple ways to look at life and I'd like to think that I relish life's challenges. It is a long road ahead that will consume a lot of time, effort and money. But I also know that I might not be able to get to the top of the mountain. I understand that I might not be able to cope with the extreme altitude, cold or that something unforeseen may happen. However I also know that I will do everything in my power to get there.

It's going to be a long process- I don't know how many years it is going to take but I will say it again and again, I will get there. I have a plan in my mind and will work towards it. I plan to tackle the small trekkable/walkable summits of Island and Mera Peaks in Nepal and Mt Kilimanjaro. Then I'll assess where I am at and get more altitude experience, get the $$ and become supremely fit.

=]

Where has this come from? It is a pretty random goal and would get pushed aside as a dreamer's dream. I've floated the idea for the past two years, thinking about it and getting more and more consumed by the idea. I've been dropping subtle hints that I am going to return to Nepal and stand atop the majestic pyramid that is continually growing.

I really want this and know that I am going to get there.